A. Ska is a type of music that originated in Jamaica in the early 1960's that is distinguishable by its
focus on the upbeat, horns, and dancability. Contrary to popular (read: American) belief, ska was
the forefather of reggae, rocksteady, and blue beat, in fact Bob Marley (which is all Americans
know of reggae) played ska in his early years before he stumbled onto reggae. Early Jamaican artist
include Desmond Dekker, Prince Buster, the Ethiopians, and Laurel Aitkins, the Godfather of Ska.
Ska's popularity in Jamaica began to wane in the mid-sixties with the arrival of economic unrest, but
resurged in 1979 with the 2-Tone movement. 2-Tone music was a blend of early Jamaican ska and
English punk. The name and associated symbols (such as checkers) represented racial harmony and
the blend of the black ska with the white punk. Successful 2-Tone bands included the Specials (the
founders of the label), Madness, the Selecter, and the (English) Beat. With the arrival of New
Wave, ska died out in England, only to resurge a third time in the mid-eighties. This time, the venue
was America. The Toasters and the Mighty, Mighty Bosstones were the first ska bands in America,
and still both enjoy loyal followings. In the states, ska has blended with almost every type of music,
e.g. the ska/punk of Less Than Jake, the swinging ska of Skavoovie and the Epitones, the
quasi-2tonish sound of the Toasters, the traditional ska of Hepcat, and the jazzy ska of the NY
Ska-Jazz ensemble. Dr. Zaius hasn't really found its niche yet, but we'd say that we're jazz ska with
a smattering of punk, funk, and reggae. We hope you enjoy.
Q. How can I get to your site?
A. Turn left at Greenland.
Q. Will you guys play "Freebird"?
A. No.
Q. Do you guys have anything to do with the Planet of the Apes?
A. No.
Q. Are you doing this one for the Kosovar refugees?
A. Absolutely not. Those crazy Serbs, when will they ever learn?
Q. Why does your page suck?
A. Eat Me Prod was gonna delete this, but maybe it still holds
merit.
According to Einstein's Theory of Relativity, this web page's "suckiness"
is relative to the
observer's stupidity. As the observer approaches an I.Q. of zero the
page grows "suckier". Einstein's
equations say that at zero I.Q. the web page is infinitely "sucky".
Einstein also says that nobody can
actually have a zero I.Q., but even Einstein was wrong sometimes.
Q. Will you marry me?
A. Doug: No. Lee: What? Mike: Maybe Ryan: (drooling, various
garbled words)
Q. Do you guys play Dave Matthews-ish jazz/folk like every other
band on campus?
A. In the beginning, our old violin player Josh said that we
should be a Phish cover band. Then Josh
suggested that we do bad Skynrd covers and some Third Eye Blind tunes
using only half the chords
of the originals. We killed Josh, and we've been playing ska ever since.
Q. I'm going to sue you!
A. That's not a question.
Q. Why haven't we heard you guys on WGTB?
A. If a tree falls in a forest, and there is no one around to
hear it, it does not make a sound. It's
kinda the same thing with WGTB.
Q. Where my dogs at?
A. Woof, woof.
Q. Why does Lee look like he's in pain on stage?
A. Because he is the bass player.
Q. When did Mike realize that his love life is so pathetic?
A. Mike: OK, let me explain. I was watching HBO and there was
a documentary about twins on.
There was one set of female siamese twins and the interviewer asked
her/them whether they had
had sex. Their reply was: "Yes!" That was when I realized. Someone
who was growing out of
another person's forehead had seen more action than I have. Her FOREHEAD!!!
What the hell is
this world coming to?
Q. What separates John from your normal, everyday, pathetic, slovenly
boozehound?
A. Dignity, and usually the boozehound comes home with two shoes.
Q. How did they make Mr. Ed look like he was talking?
A. What the hell does that have to do with this page? Well,
if you must know, they put peanut butter
on his teeth. That's one theory. We think they stuck a carrot up his
ass.
Q. Hey everybody!
A. Hey Dr. Nick!
Q. Who are the Juice Mafia?
A. They are Lee's old band back in high school (The Barrie School
in Silver Spring, MD). They
were the biggest thing in DC ska until their bass player went crazy
and Samir sold all the band's
amps to pay for his addiction. Don't worry Samir is now recovered,
and Jake the bass player is only
on house arrest.
Q. Who are some of your inspirations?
A. Lee: Since I write most of the songs, I'll answer this one.
When writing the songs I am most
profoundly inspired by the crazy sign lady, beer, the magical elves
that live in my head, and a guy
named Earl who lives in a trailer park outside of Cleveland.
Q. Who is Earl?
A. There is a little Earl in us all.
Q. That's not an answer.
A. That's not a question
Q. Will you guys play "Freebird"?
A. You already asked that.
Q. Will you at least hum "Freebird"?
A. No.
Q. Will you drop your pants?
A. For a cookie.
Q. Are you guys going to sell out?
A. Yes, and then invest all of our money in south Asian brothels.
Q. How come you guys play in the New South practice rooms?
A. Because the food is so great.
Q. Will any of you ever run for political office?
A. Mike will run for president but lose to Monica Lewinsky in
2016
Q. Where is Georgetown?
A. Where the only white people in Washington live.
Q. Why is it funny?
A. Because it's true.
Q. I think the bass player is cute.
A. Lee, stop adding things to the FAQ.
Q. Are you guys better then Sugar's Band?
A. It's hard not to be.
Q. Are you cops?
A. No ma'am, we're musicians.
Q. Why did you choose the name Dr. Zaius?
A. It chose us.